Avoid the Hedonic Treadmill to Find Longer-Lasting Joy

The definition of hedonism is 'the pursuit of pleasure.' This can lead to an ever-continuing cycle of desire, fulfillment, and then back again. It's life's treadmill. Once an initial experience fades, we seek to find it elsewhere.

Hedonic adaptation is wanting something badly, but your brain becomes accustomed to it once you have it. We crave experiences, objects, and relationships only to grow bored with them.

The true cycle of life

Nature shows us that things come in and go out. Humans resist this natural rhythm and expect things to always come in. Whether things go well or not, it’s all part of the same natural cycle.

Hedonic pleasure, however tricky or easily achieved, is fleeting by nature. The human condition tries to fulfill one desire after the next.  

Living in the past or future

We live in a mindset where we think that one next thing will make us sustainably happier.

We are taught that things are required to bring happiness. How can we feel at ease with the present moment if we are constantly craving something else?

This flipping between wanting and not wanting brings mental suffering. It prevents us from enjoying what's available to us in the present moment. Future cravings give us a feeling of scarcity.

Sadly, we don't fully enjoy things when we have them and often seem to appreciate them more when lost.

Escapism from suffering

The various drugs of life, including seeking pleasure, are often used to avoid suffering. Humans will do anything to avoid mental suffering. By constantly moving and looking for new experiences, we don't have to reflect on ourselves. We find it hard to sit with ourselves, examine, and love ourselves with all our human flaws.

Avoid false attachment

A Zen outlook provides the best answer to avoid the boom-bust of pleasure.

If you anchor your feelings to an external person or experience, then your pleasure will depend on whether it's available, or not. Life is change. Dependence on things or others for your feelings of joy can lead to a lot of mental suffering through loss. 

An experience can generate a feeling of being loved, relaxed, and a sense of unity. We assume it’s the event or person that is essential for those feelings.  The experience is just revealing the pleasure that's already inside of us. If you can truly understand this, you will live with much more joy. Your true nature, located inside yourself is not dependent on a person or a thing. 

Deep pleasure is a hidden treasure

Once we connect with ourselves and others, we can achieve a much deeper sense of pleasure. It comes from removing our mental constructs and allowing our true, authentic selves to be seen.

Pleasure without this true connection will never achieve ultimate fulfillment. Any barrier between yourself and others prevents the full human experience from being available to you. A proper connection is a human experience that taps into your true nature of love. It's when you are your most authentic, and it requires a commitment to achieve.

How to step off the treadmill?

You can prevent these ups and downs by finding your own version of enough. When constantly scanning the horizon, you fail to enjoy what's in front of you.

• Ask yourself if focusing on immediate gratification, stimulation, and short-term payoffs has led to happiness, fulfillment, and meaning.
• Identify any limiting beliefs about yourself that are driving this intrinsic motivation chase.
• Recognize that your joyful feelings are not attached to a thing or a person. They're just triggering what's already inside you and available.
• Use a gratitude journal to realize your life's abundance and bring the positives to your daily attention.
• Create a list from the journal to clarify what truly makes you happy and not what's supposed to make you happy.
• Live a deeper but simpler life to get more out of what you have without constantly needing to upgrade.
• Avoid all comparisons to others.

We can do more to affect the quality of our lives by controlling our expectations than we can by doing virtually anything else. It costs nothing!

Wishing you well,
Howard

"I don't know what I don't know, and I'm always a work in progress."